Hello all (or no one, depending on who actually reads any of this). I've decided to at least update, since it's been over two months.
Things have been going alright. I stalled right around 175-ish and hadn't moved a pound in either direction since my last post. I eventually decided to give my "tool" a chance to do its thing and get back on track.
Let me tell you, it is *not* easy. Quite frankly, I feel exactly as though I am on another in a long line of failed diets. Back to counting calories. You know, because that works so well! I can maintain a reasonable level of calorie intake during the week, when I am preoccupied by work (reasonable=under 1500 calories per day). The weekends are tough. My weightloss has been kinda rocky these past couple of months because I tend to gain back a great deal of what I lose during the week over the weekend!
I lack self control. I understand that about myself. Like many of us, I struggle with a mental need (or desire) to eat far past the point of what is prudent. I am human and I want to enjoy what I put in my mouth (yeah, okay, insert dirty joke here). As i have mentioned a million times, I have severe insulin resistance which makes it that much harder for me to control my appetite.
That said, I've been maintaining a weight of 167-ish. I am proud of every one of those 8 or so pounds I've struggled to lose over the past 2.5 months. I know I can do better than this, I just need to get food out of my head. I truly do not need much of it at all. I am rarely physically hungry. It's 90% in my head! As the surgeons tell us, they can only operate on our stomachs, not our brains (which is a damn shame).
So I'm about halfway to my final goal weight and less than 10 pounds away from a "normal" BMI. I do need to get my flabby butt to the gym, ASAP; I've lost over 30 pounds and still feel the same as I did when I was 200. I'm in the worst shape of my life. Living in Las Vegas has a huge downfall--you simply don't walk anywhere. When I lived in NYC, even after I bought a car, I still got around on foot and via subways due to the convenience. I can't wear any of my rings because they are all falling off my fingers, but I have flab on my inner thighs that I never had in my life. I was in better shape at 200 than I am at 167 and it's stupid. My husband now weighs 25 pounds more than me and still looks better (and I'm at least an inch taller!) than I do. Between working towards an MBA, a full-time, high stress career and trying to lose this extra weight, I'm feeling a bit taxed. I think I might shelf the graduate degree for now. I just don't have the time to devote to such a disgustingly math-y degree program at this point. Something's got to give, and it's not going to be my job (hello? I'd like to continue owning my home that I'm upside-down on) or my dietary/fitness goals. Not when I've invested this much time and money.
So to motivate myself, I've ordered a new iPod Nano. It has a built-in pedometer and is a tiny, clip on model with a touch screen. It should be arriving on Wednesday. After work, I'm joining the gym down the block (walking distance!), no more procrastinating. One thing I haven't been having an issue with is protein intake; I just need to kick my body into gear. I'm ready for it (I hope).
I'll end on that note. I expect to be back in the blogosphere once I hit 159 (aka normal BMI town).
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Friday, July 16, 2010
Oh, by the way, here is what I ate today:
Breakfast: Chike vanilla protein shake made with skim milk (300 calories or so)
Mid-morning snack: EAS protein bar (230 calories)
Lunch: DiGiornio frozen pepperoni pizza, 200 calorie portion (but I ate both, so 400 calories)
Afternoon snacks: snack bag of Sun Chips (140), sugar-free pudding cup (60) and two mini Milky Way bars (I don't know, maybe 100?)
Late-afternoon snacks: whole banana and peanut butter (at least 300 calories) and a Skinny Cow vanilla ice cream sandwich (140)
Dinner: potato skins with ground pork and melted cheese topped with plain Greek yogurt (430-ish).
After Dinner: another Skinny Cow ice cream sandwich (140)
After-After Dinner: Wendy's spicy chicken Go Wrap and a small chili with shredded cheese (probably 600 or so)
My calcium and omega-3 chews totaled 50 calories. I skipped the iron today.
It has been, by far, my worst day since surgery, food wise. I just couldn't stop eating. It is awful. I am going to see how tomorrow pans out; the protein shake is filling, as are the potato skins and the Wendy's meal. I think the rest amounts to slider foods, so I will try to avoid those non-filling calorie traps. The sad thing is, this is still less than what I would have had before surgery.
Hey, at least I got a ton of protein in today. :-/
Breakfast: Chike vanilla protein shake made with skim milk (300 calories or so)
Mid-morning snack: EAS protein bar (230 calories)
Lunch: DiGiornio frozen pepperoni pizza, 200 calorie portion (but I ate both, so 400 calories)
Afternoon snacks: snack bag of Sun Chips (140), sugar-free pudding cup (60) and two mini Milky Way bars (I don't know, maybe 100?)
Late-afternoon snacks: whole banana and peanut butter (at least 300 calories) and a Skinny Cow vanilla ice cream sandwich (140)
Dinner: potato skins with ground pork and melted cheese topped with plain Greek yogurt (430-ish).
After Dinner: another Skinny Cow ice cream sandwich (140)
After-After Dinner: Wendy's spicy chicken Go Wrap and a small chili with shredded cheese (probably 600 or so)
My calcium and omega-3 chews totaled 50 calories. I skipped the iron today.
It has been, by far, my worst day since surgery, food wise. I just couldn't stop eating. It is awful. I am going to see how tomorrow pans out; the protein shake is filling, as are the potato skins and the Wendy's meal. I think the rest amounts to slider foods, so I will try to avoid those non-filling calorie traps. The sad thing is, this is still less than what I would have had before surgery.
Hey, at least I got a ton of protein in today. :-/
Disappointed
It has a month plus a week or so since I had my surgery. I am down a net total of about 25 pounds (ten of those are from the pre-op diet). I am ravenously hungry all day long and can eat quite well (still not as "well" as I could beforehand), a lot more than I should be able to consume. 800 calories a day? Ha, not since I was on liquids. I probably did 2000 today, easily. I am hungry now, even. I don't know why I can eat so much. I have no restrictions, my sleeve hasn't met anything it won't tolerate. It isn't one of those cases of "oh, I *could* eat this, but I'd have to force it". No, when I say I can eat a lot, I mean I need to eat this much in order to stave off starvation. WTF?
Don't get me wrong, I am happy to have lost 25 pounds. That isn't easy, for anyone. But I don't expect to lose any more at this point. I just hope I don't gain any back.
I am so disappointed that I spent two months' salary for this. Money that I borrowed from my in-laws and will be paying back for the next couple of years, most likely.
Do I regret this surgery? Yes and no. Yes, because based on the experiences of hundreds of people far heavier than I was, I thought this would work. Yes, because I risked my life, more or less, to go to Mexico and have my insides cut open. Yes, because I wasted time and money that I will never get back. No, because hey, I did lose something. No, because (though I am out of test strips) my blood sugar levels have been decent. No, because I have been eating better and have become more aware of what I am putting in my mouth.
I would still recommend this surgery for anyone overweight and struggling. I realize that my experience is not typical. Most do quite well with this procedure. I guess my insulin resistance coupled with a large stomach to begin with doomed me from the start.
With all this said, I don't know if I will continue posting to this blog. If my situation changes or improves, I will update. But I'm not going to come here and just whine about my failure. There's no point. So see you on the flipside (maybe).
Don't get me wrong, I am happy to have lost 25 pounds. That isn't easy, for anyone. But I don't expect to lose any more at this point. I just hope I don't gain any back.
I am so disappointed that I spent two months' salary for this. Money that I borrowed from my in-laws and will be paying back for the next couple of years, most likely.
Do I regret this surgery? Yes and no. Yes, because based on the experiences of hundreds of people far heavier than I was, I thought this would work. Yes, because I risked my life, more or less, to go to Mexico and have my insides cut open. Yes, because I wasted time and money that I will never get back. No, because hey, I did lose something. No, because (though I am out of test strips) my blood sugar levels have been decent. No, because I have been eating better and have become more aware of what I am putting in my mouth.
I would still recommend this surgery for anyone overweight and struggling. I realize that my experience is not typical. Most do quite well with this procedure. I guess my insulin resistance coupled with a large stomach to begin with doomed me from the start.
With all this said, I don't know if I will continue posting to this blog. If my situation changes or improves, I will update. But I'm not going to come here and just whine about my failure. There's no point. So see you on the flipside (maybe).
Monday, July 5, 2010
How I Broke My Stall
My weight had been holding steady at 173-point-something for a good week or so. I was set to begin mushies tomorrow, but carefully began incorporating them (and other very soft solids) on Saturday, a few days early.
I don't feel like I progressed my nutrition plan too quickly; I managed the entire first two weeks after surgery on clear liquids and spent ten on full liquids.
I'm taking it as slowly as I possibly can and avoiding anything too dense. I'm in heaven with peanut butter, very ripe bananas, bits of mashed potatoes, applesauce, soft cheese, cream of wheat/oatmeal and finely mashed tuna salad.
The problem was, I was hungry! I was beginning to obssess about food and it was driving me insane. I stopped micromanaging my calorie intake and you know what? As soon as I allowed myself to consume more than 800-900 calories in a day, I broke my stall. I should have known better; if I was maintaining my pre-surgery weight with the nine zillion calories per day I was inhaling, it would only make sense that my metabolism would crawl into a hole and die on so very few calories post-op. I've shed another two pounds and my blood sugar has almost always been in the low-to-mid 100's.
I am open to the idea that some, if not all, of my "hunger" can be attributed to acid. I fully intend to start on Prilosec, probably tomorrow morning. I have about 14 pills of it left from before surgery and will start ordering it from Amazon on their subscription plan--the price works out to around six buck more per YEAR than my co-pay for the generic version--and no annoying extra trips to the doctor or pharmacy! Hell, my co-pay for one office visit is more than six bucks, so I'm actually saving money and precious time by ordering my PPI over the internet. Awesome.
I don't feel like I progressed my nutrition plan too quickly; I managed the entire first two weeks after surgery on clear liquids and spent ten on full liquids.
I'm taking it as slowly as I possibly can and avoiding anything too dense. I'm in heaven with peanut butter, very ripe bananas, bits of mashed potatoes, applesauce, soft cheese, cream of wheat/oatmeal and finely mashed tuna salad.
The problem was, I was hungry! I was beginning to obssess about food and it was driving me insane. I stopped micromanaging my calorie intake and you know what? As soon as I allowed myself to consume more than 800-900 calories in a day, I broke my stall. I should have known better; if I was maintaining my pre-surgery weight with the nine zillion calories per day I was inhaling, it would only make sense that my metabolism would crawl into a hole and die on so very few calories post-op. I've shed another two pounds and my blood sugar has almost always been in the low-to-mid 100's.
I am open to the idea that some, if not all, of my "hunger" can be attributed to acid. I fully intend to start on Prilosec, probably tomorrow morning. I have about 14 pills of it left from before surgery and will start ordering it from Amazon on their subscription plan--the price works out to around six buck more per YEAR than my co-pay for the generic version--and no annoying extra trips to the doctor or pharmacy! Hell, my co-pay for one office visit is more than six bucks, so I'm actually saving money and precious time by ordering my PPI over the internet. Awesome.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Withdrawal!
Ugh, I ran out of my beloved Chike protein powder. I've since placed an enormous order with my 25% off coupon, but it won't be here until some time Tuesday. I've been doing my best to choke down low carb Slimfast and other semi-rancid proteins. Most of what I have around my house, from my pre-op days, is utter crap. Low quality (ie the $18 garbage from Walmart that I used in frozen smoothies) or just plain rank (ie chocolate Isagenix or the plain GNC powder).
I'm finding that I am not really a fan of Greek yogurt either. The plain is alright, mixed in with tomato soup, but the flavored versions I've tried on their own just taste gross to me. I guess I was never a huge yogurt person to begin with. I will continue to use the plain in place of sour cream, but I will have to stick to regular yogurts (or none at all!) for snacking.
So now my full liquid diet isn't much fun anymore. I miss my Chike; why does shipping have to be sooo slow?
I also went on Amazon and ordered a tub of Click mocha espresso protein powder. There were a few negative reviews, but I rarely hear anything bad about that protein as far as taste/consistency. It was reasonably priced with the subscription (and free shipping), so I'm giving it a shot. If I don't like it it, I'll just cancel the subscription. I am (was) a major Starbucks freak, so hopefully this will tame my addiction, which I have not satisfied in like a month.
So I had a "moment" last night. I was starving (relatively speaking) when I got home from work last night. My loving husband had brought home a pizza from my favorite Vegas spot! Let me tell you, having spent the first 28 years of my life growing up in New York City, I am a major pizza snob! This one pizza joint out here--one out of the zillions I tried and threw out--is the only place that has the equivalent of decent NY pizza. It was one of my favorite indulgences pre-op.
So the husband brings home this pizza. By the time I got home, it was cold and mostly eaten. And at least it wasn't pepperoni and mushroom, my drug of choice. Then I would have had to kill him. It was grilled chicken and mushroom, which is not normally something I'd get on my pie. But it looked really friggin' good! So I did what any rational person would do-- I ate a slice. And before you freak out, let me say that by "eat a slice" I actually mean "shamefully chewed each bite and spit it out into the sink without swallowing". It isn't something I'd want to do again. How horrible is it to have that wonderful taste in your mouth and get no satisfaction from it? I know that someday I will be able to eat pizza again, even if it is only one slice (or half a slice, even). I will wait; it would have been just too damn easy to swallow one of those bites and destroy my insides!
I am really jonesing though. I've been having all kinds of food dreams lately. Really mundane stuff, like I had a vivid dream about eating buttered toast with an over-easy fried egg. Yummy. My hunger is definitely returning, with a vengeance. Don't get me wrong, it is nothing compared to my pre-op hunger, but it is still a bitch. The liquids just don't do it for me anymore and I can get in a lot of them. It will be great to start eating dense foods, not liquids or mush. Something that can fill me up and actually tastes good. I'll be good though and wait until I'm allowed to eat those things. It is a slippery slope, especially for someone like me who can down a 48oz porterhouse and ask for dessert (that really happened, and I had appetizers, soup and salad too).
I'm finding that I am not really a fan of Greek yogurt either. The plain is alright, mixed in with tomato soup, but the flavored versions I've tried on their own just taste gross to me. I guess I was never a huge yogurt person to begin with. I will continue to use the plain in place of sour cream, but I will have to stick to regular yogurts (or none at all!) for snacking.
So now my full liquid diet isn't much fun anymore. I miss my Chike; why does shipping have to be sooo slow?
I also went on Amazon and ordered a tub of Click mocha espresso protein powder. There were a few negative reviews, but I rarely hear anything bad about that protein as far as taste/consistency. It was reasonably priced with the subscription (and free shipping), so I'm giving it a shot. If I don't like it it, I'll just cancel the subscription. I am (was) a major Starbucks freak, so hopefully this will tame my addiction, which I have not satisfied in like a month.
So I had a "moment" last night. I was starving (relatively speaking) when I got home from work last night. My loving husband had brought home a pizza from my favorite Vegas spot! Let me tell you, having spent the first 28 years of my life growing up in New York City, I am a major pizza snob! This one pizza joint out here--one out of the zillions I tried and threw out--is the only place that has the equivalent of decent NY pizza. It was one of my favorite indulgences pre-op.
So the husband brings home this pizza. By the time I got home, it was cold and mostly eaten. And at least it wasn't pepperoni and mushroom, my drug of choice. Then I would have had to kill him. It was grilled chicken and mushroom, which is not normally something I'd get on my pie. But it looked really friggin' good! So I did what any rational person would do-- I ate a slice. And before you freak out, let me say that by "eat a slice" I actually mean "shamefully chewed each bite and spit it out into the sink without swallowing". It isn't something I'd want to do again. How horrible is it to have that wonderful taste in your mouth and get no satisfaction from it? I know that someday I will be able to eat pizza again, even if it is only one slice (or half a slice, even). I will wait; it would have been just too damn easy to swallow one of those bites and destroy my insides!
I am really jonesing though. I've been having all kinds of food dreams lately. Really mundane stuff, like I had a vivid dream about eating buttered toast with an over-easy fried egg. Yummy. My hunger is definitely returning, with a vengeance. Don't get me wrong, it is nothing compared to my pre-op hunger, but it is still a bitch. The liquids just don't do it for me anymore and I can get in a lot of them. It will be great to start eating dense foods, not liquids or mush. Something that can fill me up and actually tastes good. I'll be good though and wait until I'm allowed to eat those things. It is a slippery slope, especially for someone like me who can down a 48oz porterhouse and ask for dessert (that really happened, and I had appetizers, soup and salad too).
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Let's Talk About Sex, Baby...
How long did you wait before returning to a normal sex life with your partner? Was it hard?
I'm still waiting, just haven't been feeling it. Though I feel great, comparatively speaking, I am in no mood to have sex. Nothing at all, I'm just too tired from everything.
My husband is not a happy camper and I feel bad. Not that I am an animal in bed or anything like that, but it's got to be hard for someone not going through the changes I am to not have any physical, um, "comfort" from his wife.
I don't mean to be frigid and I am trying to get back to a good place. I know that a healthy sex life is integral to a happy marriage. I understand the health benefits and calorie-burning potential of a good 'ol fling. I'll get there, soon.
I'm still waiting, just haven't been feeling it. Though I feel great, comparatively speaking, I am in no mood to have sex. Nothing at all, I'm just too tired from everything.
My husband is not a happy camper and I feel bad. Not that I am an animal in bed or anything like that, but it's got to be hard for someone not going through the changes I am to not have any physical, um, "comfort" from his wife.
I don't mean to be frigid and I am trying to get back to a good place. I know that a healthy sex life is integral to a happy marriage. I understand the health benefits and calorie-burning potential of a good 'ol fling. I'll get there, soon.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Last Suppers
Did you have a "last meal" before your surgery? How long before? What did you have?
I think I had a couple of weeks' worth of "last meals". The only thing that stopped me in my tracks was illness. Yes, I got very sick two weeks before my surgery date. Vomitting, diarrhea, nausea--the whole nine. I've had a mystery illness every year for the past several years. It always hits around the same time and comes up for 24hours at a time every week (to the day) until I finally go to the emergency room. Once I seek medical attention, I'm told something riduculous like nothing is wrong with me or that it's due to my diabetes (doubtful; this condition preceded the diabetes by several years). I've never been able to quite figure it out.
But anyway, I was hit by my mystery illness. I medicated, took a day off from work and hoped for the best. The best didn't happen and I got sick again, one week later. Since that second sick day was exactly one week before my surgery date, I started my liquid diet immediately. The thought of getting sick again was enough to keep me honest. I did not consume one, single, non-liquid calorie that entire week prior to surgery. So my actual last meal was a roast beef sandwich on rye with mayo and fruit salad from Jason's deli (at work, before I got sick again later that same day). Pretty boring, but I tell myself I got my last licks in aplenty before that.
I went to my favorite sushi joint with my coworkers. I had my absolute favorite meal from my local Thai takeout spot. I had In-n-Out burger, Dominos thin crust pizza. Hot wings from KFC, more than once. Ungodly-sized loaded baked potatos from Jason's Deli. My husband and I went to the Bellagio buffet and pigged out hardcore. I lived it up, as mortifying as that may sound considering my weight problems. My nutty insulin resistance kept me from gaining, but I am astounded by the sheer amount of awful (but delicious) "last suppers" I horked down.
It's all over with now. I do not mourn the loss of these ultimate comfort foods. I take solace in the fact that I'll most likely be able to have all of these foods again in a few months, albeit in far more reasonable portions.
I think I had a couple of weeks' worth of "last meals". The only thing that stopped me in my tracks was illness. Yes, I got very sick two weeks before my surgery date. Vomitting, diarrhea, nausea--the whole nine. I've had a mystery illness every year for the past several years. It always hits around the same time and comes up for 24hours at a time every week (to the day) until I finally go to the emergency room. Once I seek medical attention, I'm told something riduculous like nothing is wrong with me or that it's due to my diabetes (doubtful; this condition preceded the diabetes by several years). I've never been able to quite figure it out.
But anyway, I was hit by my mystery illness. I medicated, took a day off from work and hoped for the best. The best didn't happen and I got sick again, one week later. Since that second sick day was exactly one week before my surgery date, I started my liquid diet immediately. The thought of getting sick again was enough to keep me honest. I did not consume one, single, non-liquid calorie that entire week prior to surgery. So my actual last meal was a roast beef sandwich on rye with mayo and fruit salad from Jason's deli (at work, before I got sick again later that same day). Pretty boring, but I tell myself I got my last licks in aplenty before that.
I went to my favorite sushi joint with my coworkers. I had my absolute favorite meal from my local Thai takeout spot. I had In-n-Out burger, Dominos thin crust pizza. Hot wings from KFC, more than once. Ungodly-sized loaded baked potatos from Jason's Deli. My husband and I went to the Bellagio buffet and pigged out hardcore. I lived it up, as mortifying as that may sound considering my weight problems. My nutty insulin resistance kept me from gaining, but I am astounded by the sheer amount of awful (but delicious) "last suppers" I horked down.
It's all over with now. I do not mourn the loss of these ultimate comfort foods. I take solace in the fact that I'll most likely be able to have all of these foods again in a few months, albeit in far more reasonable portions.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
I LOVE the Full Liquid Stage!
I'm doing pretty well! I am down a total of 25 pounds since I began the pre-op liquid diet. (It had been more like 26, but I actually gained a pound since starting full liquids. I think I may have hit my first stall!)
I am a few days short of three weeks since surgery and feeling just fine. I started full liquids on Wednesday, 6/23--technically one day short of two weeks if you start counting from the day AFTER surgery, not the day of. I was thrilled to move past watered down apple juice and Isopure clear protein drinks, let me tell you.
I will readily admit that I am not quite there with my protein levels, or any levels for that matter. I've started on some gummy vitamins (they are terrible for you, but I'd like to give it some time before getting back to swallowing horse pills. Something is probably better than nothing, IMO).
I hit up Bariatric Advantage and ordered up some Omega-3 chews, calcium citrate soft chews and some chewable iron supplements. I am anxiously awaiting delivery so I can start getting in at least some of my required vitamins. Bariatric patients have strict guidelines regarding vitamin/supplement intake levels, and the main reason I had VSG was to get healthy!
Sugar-free Jello pudding is great. Sugar-free Neopolitan ice cream is amazing. I haven't been as "good" as I could be, but mind hunger just wins out sometimes. I've been right around 800 calories a day. Considering the bottomless pit I was before surgery, that is a major victory in of itself. I have some concerns about the sheer amoount of these full liquids I can consume, especially a single sitting, but from what I understand, this will improve greatly once I am eating solid food.
I just wish I felt the immediate restriction that so many other of my fellow VSGers describe. I am flabbergasted when someone posts that they cannot eat a six ounce yogurt in one sitting. WTH? I can do that with my eyes closed. I try not to do too much at one time; I do not want to damage my innards. I just can really pack it away, always could. I have a constant feeling of emptiness in my stomach and can honestly say that while I am not feeling very deprived (love that lack of ghrelin!), I could always eat (aka drink) more.
It could be that my swelling has gone down faster than some others. It is also very likely that my pouch is larger than average. I am fairly tall for a female (5'7" and a half!) and probably had a huge stomach to begin with (I regularly outeat people twice my size). Whatever, it is what it is. Liquids go through pretty quickly from what I hear.
I was previously very concerned about my stitches. Well, I removed them myself last night and am now relieved. I had seen a YouTube video of this chick who took her stitches out too soon and had like two of her incisions open right up! I waited several extra days before attempting to remove mine and they were a bit tough. I got them all though, and no re-opening! The scabs look pretty gross right now, but at least my stitches will stop catching on my clothes.
So onto one of the best parts of full liquids- Chike protein powder with plain almond milk (the almond milk adds 40 calories and 3 grams of fat per 8oz serving). I've tried the chocolate and orange creme Chike with water and it was just "okay". This morning I made up a half serving of the chocolate with almond milk and it tasted like friggin' brownie batter. Yummy. I'm looking forward to trying the other three flavors I have left (banana, strawberry and vanilla). I took advantage of Chike's special sample offer- one serving packets of all five flavors for $6.95 S&H. They also threw in two half portions of the chocolate for a total of six servings. Each full serving has 180-190 calories and 28 grams of protein. Their prices are somewhat on the high side, but worth it for the taste and the high quality. They do send a code for 25% off your first order with your samples, so that definitely helps offset the price. Slimfast low-carb tastes fairly rank to me now, so I'm happy to have found something I enjoy. I have chocolate Isagenix (not the best choice as far as calories/carbs, etc., but I've always liked adding a half portion of the vanilla to my frozen fruit smoothies in the past), some unflavored GNC protein (haven't found a use for it yet; maybe I'll try blending some into my Activa yogurt) and a big tub of something from Walmart that is probably crap. Needless to say, I'll be taking FULL advantage of that 25% off Chike coupon in the very near future. Their website is chikenutrition.com if anyone is interested.
I am a few days short of three weeks since surgery and feeling just fine. I started full liquids on Wednesday, 6/23--technically one day short of two weeks if you start counting from the day AFTER surgery, not the day of. I was thrilled to move past watered down apple juice and Isopure clear protein drinks, let me tell you.
I will readily admit that I am not quite there with my protein levels, or any levels for that matter. I've started on some gummy vitamins (they are terrible for you, but I'd like to give it some time before getting back to swallowing horse pills. Something is probably better than nothing, IMO).
I hit up Bariatric Advantage and ordered up some Omega-3 chews, calcium citrate soft chews and some chewable iron supplements. I am anxiously awaiting delivery so I can start getting in at least some of my required vitamins. Bariatric patients have strict guidelines regarding vitamin/supplement intake levels, and the main reason I had VSG was to get healthy!
Sugar-free Jello pudding is great. Sugar-free Neopolitan ice cream is amazing. I haven't been as "good" as I could be, but mind hunger just wins out sometimes. I've been right around 800 calories a day. Considering the bottomless pit I was before surgery, that is a major victory in of itself. I have some concerns about the sheer amoount of these full liquids I can consume, especially a single sitting, but from what I understand, this will improve greatly once I am eating solid food.
I just wish I felt the immediate restriction that so many other of my fellow VSGers describe. I am flabbergasted when someone posts that they cannot eat a six ounce yogurt in one sitting. WTH? I can do that with my eyes closed. I try not to do too much at one time; I do not want to damage my innards. I just can really pack it away, always could. I have a constant feeling of emptiness in my stomach and can honestly say that while I am not feeling very deprived (love that lack of ghrelin!), I could always eat (aka drink) more.
It could be that my swelling has gone down faster than some others. It is also very likely that my pouch is larger than average. I am fairly tall for a female (5'7" and a half!) and probably had a huge stomach to begin with (I regularly outeat people twice my size). Whatever, it is what it is. Liquids go through pretty quickly from what I hear.
I was previously very concerned about my stitches. Well, I removed them myself last night and am now relieved. I had seen a YouTube video of this chick who took her stitches out too soon and had like two of her incisions open right up! I waited several extra days before attempting to remove mine and they were a bit tough. I got them all though, and no re-opening! The scabs look pretty gross right now, but at least my stitches will stop catching on my clothes.
So onto one of the best parts of full liquids- Chike protein powder with plain almond milk (the almond milk adds 40 calories and 3 grams of fat per 8oz serving). I've tried the chocolate and orange creme Chike with water and it was just "okay". This morning I made up a half serving of the chocolate with almond milk and it tasted like friggin' brownie batter. Yummy. I'm looking forward to trying the other three flavors I have left (banana, strawberry and vanilla). I took advantage of Chike's special sample offer- one serving packets of all five flavors for $6.95 S&H. They also threw in two half portions of the chocolate for a total of six servings. Each full serving has 180-190 calories and 28 grams of protein. Their prices are somewhat on the high side, but worth it for the taste and the high quality. They do send a code for 25% off your first order with your samples, so that definitely helps offset the price. Slimfast low-carb tastes fairly rank to me now, so I'm happy to have found something I enjoy. I have chocolate Isagenix (not the best choice as far as calories/carbs, etc., but I've always liked adding a half portion of the vanilla to my frozen fruit smoothies in the past), some unflavored GNC protein (haven't found a use for it yet; maybe I'll try blending some into my Activa yogurt) and a big tub of something from Walmart that is probably crap. Needless to say, I'll be taking FULL advantage of that 25% off Chike coupon in the very near future. Their website is chikenutrition.com if anyone is interested.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Over One Week Since Surgery!
I'm now over one week out! I'm still alive, thankfully. I'm feeling a little better each day. I went back to work on Monday and all was fine. I'm finally finished with the terrible antibiotics Mexico sent me home with. Small favors, eh? I have a hard time taking pills to begin with; try swallowing the nastiest horse pills EVER (four per day!) after just having most of your stomach removed--not pleasant.
I'm still on clear liquids. I'm going to give it until next Thursday before upgrading to full liquids (low-carb Slimfast is sounding pretty good right now) for two weeks. Astonishingly, I'm hardly hungry at all. This is beyond me; I'm probably barely getting 400 calories in me per day. I cannot stand Isopure and "plain" protein powder just doesn't do it for me--it's gross. Needless to say, I've not been getting in much protein lately.
My head hunger isn't too terrible; at least I'm craving fairly healthy things for the most part. I'm not really thinking about candy, for once! (and I love me some candy!) I'm dying for a banana with peanut butter--soon, my precious. *drool* Right now, I'm working on just getting in enough fluids.
I'm down to 179.8! Goodbye 180's (hopefully forever)! I hope to say farewell to the darned gas eventually too. It bothers me all day and even settles in my shoulder for a little while when I lay down. It goes away pretty quickly though, and I've been able to sleep decently.
My incisions look okay, but my drain site has still been oozing a bit. I'd been using gauze to cover it, but the tape has been itching like crazy so I downgraded to a Hello Kitty bandaid. I'm going to take a look at it later and see if I can leave it uncovered yet. Ick, I hate wounds. How'd they get my ginormous gut out through those tiny holes anyway?
Okay, I'm done rambling for now. Sleep soon; I deserve it after my 11.5 hour workday!
I'm still on clear liquids. I'm going to give it until next Thursday before upgrading to full liquids (low-carb Slimfast is sounding pretty good right now) for two weeks. Astonishingly, I'm hardly hungry at all. This is beyond me; I'm probably barely getting 400 calories in me per day. I cannot stand Isopure and "plain" protein powder just doesn't do it for me--it's gross. Needless to say, I've not been getting in much protein lately.
My head hunger isn't too terrible; at least I'm craving fairly healthy things for the most part. I'm not really thinking about candy, for once! (and I love me some candy!) I'm dying for a banana with peanut butter--soon, my precious. *drool* Right now, I'm working on just getting in enough fluids.
I'm down to 179.8! Goodbye 180's (hopefully forever)! I hope to say farewell to the darned gas eventually too. It bothers me all day and even settles in my shoulder for a little while when I lay down. It goes away pretty quickly though, and I've been able to sleep decently.
My incisions look okay, but my drain site has still been oozing a bit. I'd been using gauze to cover it, but the tape has been itching like crazy so I downgraded to a Hello Kitty bandaid. I'm going to take a look at it later and see if I can leave it uncovered yet. Ick, I hate wounds. How'd they get my ginormous gut out through those tiny holes anyway?
Okay, I'm done rambling for now. Sleep soon; I deserve it after my 11.5 hour workday!
Sunday, June 13, 2010
I'm home... (This is going to be LONG)
Well, I got home from my surgery yesterday afternoon. I'm doing okay, not fantastic. I'm certainly not going to be singing arias and jumping up on the furniture like one of my housemates was the day after surgery (lucky SOB).
I have an overall tight/clenching sort of feeling in my gut and occasional gas pains (mostly when I drink). My incisions feel alright, but I am super squeamish about them, especially the one where the drain was. Ugh! I'm just realllly taking it easy since I'm probably going back to work tomorrow (eh, desk job).
So now on to the important stuff: my weight! The morning of my surgery, the clinic's scale registered my weight as 190 (with my Fit Flops on, which are substantial--at home, I had been getting 188-189, naked in the morning [the BEST time to weigh, right?]). Today, four days later, I am at 183.2. I certainly understand the crazy fluctuations that occur right around and after surgery, so I take my post-op numbers with a grain of salt. Still, it looks nice on the scale, even if my body looks gross right now with all the swelling/oddness. I can't remember the last time I was in the 180's; probably grade school. I was always overweight, all my life, and over 200 pounds since I hit my teens. I'm not a yo-yo dieter or anything like that; I just consistently gained weight as I got older, mostly due to severe (undiagnosed) insulin resistance that eventually progressed to type II diabetes. (I also have PCOS, for those who need to know it all.)
I've also been monitoring my blood glucose levels and they have been excellent, for me. For the first time in my life, I've been getting cold! Like a normal person! With my blood sugar in the mid-100's and a lack of carb/calorie intake, my body temperature has dropped. I love it; it is so much nicer/easier to be cold than it is to be hot.
So that's the good, so far. Now onto the bad:
Have I mentioned that I feel like I've been hit by a truck? I can't believe all these people who just breeze through this surgery like it's nothing. I'm not in any acute pain, per se, I'm just weak, sore and achy. I was a self-pay patient, so I'm terrified of developing complications that my insurance won't pay for. Maybe that is why I am taking it really easy. I feel as though I have a ticking time bomb strapped to my chest. It is not nice, not at all.
I worry about my incisions, all the time. Did you know I am going to have to remove my stitches? Myself? Oh my freakin' god, no. I am going to see if I can get a doctor to do it when the time comes. I wish I had had the extra couple of grand to go to a better surgeon! Who the heck doesn't use dissolvable stitches these days? Welcome to 2010, idiots! :-)
So yeah, my surgeon. Here's the thing: I don't really want to say who did my surgery, because this particular surgeon generates a lot of commentary/attacks when mentioned. If you need to know, ask. Or, more likely, you'd probably be able to guess based on my account of the facilities, care, etc. Just know that I was at a well-advertised chop shop in Tijuana, MX.
I was picked up at the San Diego airport the morning of my surgery. I was the first of my group to arrive, since my airport shuttle departed at 6:00am. The rest of my group consisted of a brother/sister duo and another female traveling with her husband. We were picked up in a small SUV and had to really cram in there like sardines, especially with all of our luggage. The driver was pleasant enough, though I don't believe he spoke much English.
We made the quick trip over the border. Once in Tijuana, we were immediately taken to a dingy little "lab" to have our blood drawn. That was over quickly, and we proceeded to the clinic shortly thereafter. The clinic, located in a strip mall, was small, but nicely decorated. It appeared clean enough, considering the locale. Now, I am no medical facility snob or anything, so know that I wasn't expecting a whole lot. I took a calculated risk doing my surgery in Mexico, at this particular clinic, and had an idea of what it would be like.
A cardiologist (I assume) showed up and performed EKG and blood pressure tests on the four of us. We were weighed and asked questions about our medical histories. I was shortly informed that I would be the first surgery of the day. I was ushered into a two-bed room and put in a gown. My legs were tightly bound with ace bandages and an IV was placed in my arm. There was another patient recovering from a mini-bypass in the other bed. I chatted with her for a few minutes before finally meeting my surgeon, who took a picture with me in that horrible hospital gown. A few more minutes passed and then it was time to go into surgery.
I was taken into the OR, and without much fanfare, the nurse spread me out onto a table and put me OUT. I was literally awake one second and just gone the next. I woke up, presumably a few hours later, and was walked back to my room. I don't remember much; I think they gave me some pain meds in my IV and then I was drifting in and out for awhile. I regained most of my facilities later on and got up to walk around a bit. I used the free phone in my room to briefly check in with my husband. I was horribly uncomfortable and in a decent amount of pain for the duration of the night. I could barely sleep, but got in a couple of hours once I requested some sleep medication. I HATE sleeping on my back, but I was in no condition to try anything more adventurous. I think I put my iPod on at some point to help me get some rest.
The next morning, my drain was emptied and I was cheerfully informed that we'd be traveling to the recovery house. I stared in disbelief; I understood that we were to spend two nights in the hospital. Apparently not. I did not feel up to getting up and into a car, but we all went anyway, including my mini-bypass roommate who had already spent two nights at the hospital.
The recovery house was nice; no complaints there. It was clean and there were two housekeepers (deceptively dressed like nurses) present to attend to our needs. Later in the day, a doctor from the clinic came to check in with us. She gave me a shot with some antibiotics and (I think) pain medication. She wasn't there very long.
I was put in the one downstairs double bedroom with my previous roommate. I think there were three additional bedrooms upstairs. Whatever, I was happy to not have to do stairs. The recovery house has wifi access (eh, it was pretty spotty though) and a phone to use. I called home again and also called my mother. There was a nice TV with cable in our room (and a DVD player), so I spent a lot of time watching cheesy American sitcoms with Spanish subtitles. I had my iPad with me (omigod, what a lifesaver!) so I was pretty much set for entertainment. I was not feeling at all social; I tend to withdraw when I'm feeling crappy, so I didn't really talk to anyone at length while I was there. Everyone else was pretty lively--I don't know how that was possible.
The first night at the recovery house wasn't awful, but I could barely sleep, yet again. I still wasn't ready to try sleeping on my side, so I tossed around quite a bit. I am a smoker--yeah, I know, one addiction at a time--so I was up and down a lot to go outside (it was nice to move around). I had an ice pop, some gatorade and water. I felt NO hunger at all, other than what my head felt after smelling all the wonderful Mexican food the housekeepers were cooking. My stomach wasn't interested, thank god. Head hunger is certainly a bitch though.
I was fairly cold and underdressed, coming from the dry, 110 degree Las Vegas heat. I asked the housekeeper if the window in our bedroom could be closed and she said it doesn't close. That was odd, but to be fair, she may not have fully understood my request. It was also noisy in there from all of the cars, dogs, etc. running around outside.
The next day, Friday, we had to do the inevitable leak test (including the awful purple drink that made me want to hurl). That took freakin' forever because we had to first return to the clinic to pile in several additional patients. They were all bandsters, those chumps (kidding). We all got our x-rays and were told there were no problems. We crammed back into the transport vehicle and returned to the clinic for awhile. I briefly saw the surgeon again. He asked me how I was doing, but that was the extent of it. We were given some meds to bring home and sent back to the recovery house for our last night there. Most of the bandsters came with us, so the house was crowded. I mostly stayed in my room to avoid the commotion. The dreaded drain came out that evening as well, and I was finally brave enough to gingerly sleep on my side.
Saturday morning I was taken back to the San Diego airport along with a few other patients. Of course my flight was delayed by an hour (effing Southwest), but I made it. My husband picked me up in Vegas and we went home after first stopping at the store for some gatorade and such. Last night was devine, finally in my own bed.
Now here's the thing: while my overall experience was fine, I am shocked by the utter lack of proper aftercare by this clinic. My vitals were not taken once after surgery and I only had the one brief visit with the doctor at the recovery house. When I asked to have my temperature taken at the recovery house, the house manager (I think that's who he was) simply felt my forehead and said I was fine. I had to remind the nurse to take my drain out (which was the only time after my initial drain empty where my bandages were changed). Once the drain was removed, my incisions were all left uncovered, except for the drain site. I was told by the nurse that I'd have to squeeze out some additional drainage in the shower for the next couple of days and to use antiseptic spray on all the wounds. That was all though. I took a shower at home (I didn't want to take one while in Mexico) and rebandaged the drain site, but I have no idea how long I need to keep that incision covered.
The paperwork I was sent home with was minimal in regard to aftercare. There is a lot of conflicting info given about the proper progression of my post-op diet. The instructions are vague at best, so I'm going to abide by the Cornell guidelines to be safe. I am still terrified about these incisions and the thought of possibly having to remove my own stitches. I don't know how to do that (I could Google it) or if I'd even have the stomach to try. I get fairly intense gas pains when I drink and I have no way of knowing if that is normal. I also have occasional pain in my left shoulder. I also assume this is from gas, but again, how would I know?
I don't want to dwell on the negatives; my overall experience wasn't terrible. I knew the risks I was taking by going with a bargain-basement surgeon and accepted that risk. If I had had the extra money I certainly would have gone to a more reputable clinic, whether in Mexico or here. You just need to understand what you're getting in to; if I had had any post-op problems, or develop any later, I am totally on my own. Understand that and accept it before going to Mexico for weight loss surgery and you'll be fine.
I have an overall tight/clenching sort of feeling in my gut and occasional gas pains (mostly when I drink). My incisions feel alright, but I am super squeamish about them, especially the one where the drain was. Ugh! I'm just realllly taking it easy since I'm probably going back to work tomorrow (eh, desk job).
So now on to the important stuff: my weight! The morning of my surgery, the clinic's scale registered my weight as 190 (with my Fit Flops on, which are substantial--at home, I had been getting 188-189, naked in the morning [the BEST time to weigh, right?]). Today, four days later, I am at 183.2. I certainly understand the crazy fluctuations that occur right around and after surgery, so I take my post-op numbers with a grain of salt. Still, it looks nice on the scale, even if my body looks gross right now with all the swelling/oddness. I can't remember the last time I was in the 180's; probably grade school. I was always overweight, all my life, and over 200 pounds since I hit my teens. I'm not a yo-yo dieter or anything like that; I just consistently gained weight as I got older, mostly due to severe (undiagnosed) insulin resistance that eventually progressed to type II diabetes. (I also have PCOS, for those who need to know it all.)
I've also been monitoring my blood glucose levels and they have been excellent, for me. For the first time in my life, I've been getting cold! Like a normal person! With my blood sugar in the mid-100's and a lack of carb/calorie intake, my body temperature has dropped. I love it; it is so much nicer/easier to be cold than it is to be hot.
So that's the good, so far. Now onto the bad:
Have I mentioned that I feel like I've been hit by a truck? I can't believe all these people who just breeze through this surgery like it's nothing. I'm not in any acute pain, per se, I'm just weak, sore and achy. I was a self-pay patient, so I'm terrified of developing complications that my insurance won't pay for. Maybe that is why I am taking it really easy. I feel as though I have a ticking time bomb strapped to my chest. It is not nice, not at all.
I worry about my incisions, all the time. Did you know I am going to have to remove my stitches? Myself? Oh my freakin' god, no. I am going to see if I can get a doctor to do it when the time comes. I wish I had had the extra couple of grand to go to a better surgeon! Who the heck doesn't use dissolvable stitches these days? Welcome to 2010, idiots! :-)
So yeah, my surgeon. Here's the thing: I don't really want to say who did my surgery, because this particular surgeon generates a lot of commentary/attacks when mentioned. If you need to know, ask. Or, more likely, you'd probably be able to guess based on my account of the facilities, care, etc. Just know that I was at a well-advertised chop shop in Tijuana, MX.
I was picked up at the San Diego airport the morning of my surgery. I was the first of my group to arrive, since my airport shuttle departed at 6:00am. The rest of my group consisted of a brother/sister duo and another female traveling with her husband. We were picked up in a small SUV and had to really cram in there like sardines, especially with all of our luggage. The driver was pleasant enough, though I don't believe he spoke much English.
We made the quick trip over the border. Once in Tijuana, we were immediately taken to a dingy little "lab" to have our blood drawn. That was over quickly, and we proceeded to the clinic shortly thereafter. The clinic, located in a strip mall, was small, but nicely decorated. It appeared clean enough, considering the locale. Now, I am no medical facility snob or anything, so know that I wasn't expecting a whole lot. I took a calculated risk doing my surgery in Mexico, at this particular clinic, and had an idea of what it would be like.
A cardiologist (I assume) showed up and performed EKG and blood pressure tests on the four of us. We were weighed and asked questions about our medical histories. I was shortly informed that I would be the first surgery of the day. I was ushered into a two-bed room and put in a gown. My legs were tightly bound with ace bandages and an IV was placed in my arm. There was another patient recovering from a mini-bypass in the other bed. I chatted with her for a few minutes before finally meeting my surgeon, who took a picture with me in that horrible hospital gown. A few more minutes passed and then it was time to go into surgery.
I was taken into the OR, and without much fanfare, the nurse spread me out onto a table and put me OUT. I was literally awake one second and just gone the next. I woke up, presumably a few hours later, and was walked back to my room. I don't remember much; I think they gave me some pain meds in my IV and then I was drifting in and out for awhile. I regained most of my facilities later on and got up to walk around a bit. I used the free phone in my room to briefly check in with my husband. I was horribly uncomfortable and in a decent amount of pain for the duration of the night. I could barely sleep, but got in a couple of hours once I requested some sleep medication. I HATE sleeping on my back, but I was in no condition to try anything more adventurous. I think I put my iPod on at some point to help me get some rest.
The next morning, my drain was emptied and I was cheerfully informed that we'd be traveling to the recovery house. I stared in disbelief; I understood that we were to spend two nights in the hospital. Apparently not. I did not feel up to getting up and into a car, but we all went anyway, including my mini-bypass roommate who had already spent two nights at the hospital.
The recovery house was nice; no complaints there. It was clean and there were two housekeepers (deceptively dressed like nurses) present to attend to our needs. Later in the day, a doctor from the clinic came to check in with us. She gave me a shot with some antibiotics and (I think) pain medication. She wasn't there very long.
I was put in the one downstairs double bedroom with my previous roommate. I think there were three additional bedrooms upstairs. Whatever, I was happy to not have to do stairs. The recovery house has wifi access (eh, it was pretty spotty though) and a phone to use. I called home again and also called my mother. There was a nice TV with cable in our room (and a DVD player), so I spent a lot of time watching cheesy American sitcoms with Spanish subtitles. I had my iPad with me (omigod, what a lifesaver!) so I was pretty much set for entertainment. I was not feeling at all social; I tend to withdraw when I'm feeling crappy, so I didn't really talk to anyone at length while I was there. Everyone else was pretty lively--I don't know how that was possible.
The first night at the recovery house wasn't awful, but I could barely sleep, yet again. I still wasn't ready to try sleeping on my side, so I tossed around quite a bit. I am a smoker--yeah, I know, one addiction at a time--so I was up and down a lot to go outside (it was nice to move around). I had an ice pop, some gatorade and water. I felt NO hunger at all, other than what my head felt after smelling all the wonderful Mexican food the housekeepers were cooking. My stomach wasn't interested, thank god. Head hunger is certainly a bitch though.
I was fairly cold and underdressed, coming from the dry, 110 degree Las Vegas heat. I asked the housekeeper if the window in our bedroom could be closed and she said it doesn't close. That was odd, but to be fair, she may not have fully understood my request. It was also noisy in there from all of the cars, dogs, etc. running around outside.
The next day, Friday, we had to do the inevitable leak test (including the awful purple drink that made me want to hurl). That took freakin' forever because we had to first return to the clinic to pile in several additional patients. They were all bandsters, those chumps (kidding). We all got our x-rays and were told there were no problems. We crammed back into the transport vehicle and returned to the clinic for awhile. I briefly saw the surgeon again. He asked me how I was doing, but that was the extent of it. We were given some meds to bring home and sent back to the recovery house for our last night there. Most of the bandsters came with us, so the house was crowded. I mostly stayed in my room to avoid the commotion. The dreaded drain came out that evening as well, and I was finally brave enough to gingerly sleep on my side.
Saturday morning I was taken back to the San Diego airport along with a few other patients. Of course my flight was delayed by an hour (effing Southwest), but I made it. My husband picked me up in Vegas and we went home after first stopping at the store for some gatorade and such. Last night was devine, finally in my own bed.
Now here's the thing: while my overall experience was fine, I am shocked by the utter lack of proper aftercare by this clinic. My vitals were not taken once after surgery and I only had the one brief visit with the doctor at the recovery house. When I asked to have my temperature taken at the recovery house, the house manager (I think that's who he was) simply felt my forehead and said I was fine. I had to remind the nurse to take my drain out (which was the only time after my initial drain empty where my bandages were changed). Once the drain was removed, my incisions were all left uncovered, except for the drain site. I was told by the nurse that I'd have to squeeze out some additional drainage in the shower for the next couple of days and to use antiseptic spray on all the wounds. That was all though. I took a shower at home (I didn't want to take one while in Mexico) and rebandaged the drain site, but I have no idea how long I need to keep that incision covered.
The paperwork I was sent home with was minimal in regard to aftercare. There is a lot of conflicting info given about the proper progression of my post-op diet. The instructions are vague at best, so I'm going to abide by the Cornell guidelines to be safe. I am still terrified about these incisions and the thought of possibly having to remove my own stitches. I don't know how to do that (I could Google it) or if I'd even have the stomach to try. I get fairly intense gas pains when I drink and I have no way of knowing if that is normal. I also have occasional pain in my left shoulder. I also assume this is from gas, but again, how would I know?
I don't want to dwell on the negatives; my overall experience wasn't terrible. I knew the risks I was taking by going with a bargain-basement surgeon and accepted that risk. If I had had the extra money I certainly would have gone to a more reputable clinic, whether in Mexico or here. You just need to understand what you're getting in to; if I had had any post-op problems, or develop any later, I am totally on my own. Understand that and accept it before going to Mexico for weight loss surgery and you'll be fine.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
My first time...
Wow, I waited a long time to start this blog. I wanted to memorialize my journey to weight loss and a healthier me. Okay, I'm at the hotel in San Diego and my surgery is tomorrow. I have to be up at the ungodly hour of five a.m. Yes, you read that right. So I will keep this mercifully short, since it's after 10pm already. If I'm up to it, I will continue this tomorrow. Later days!
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