Back for an Update

Hello all (or no one, depending on who actually reads any of this). I've decided to at least update, since it's been over two months.

Things have been going alright. I stalled right around 175-ish and hadn't moved a pound in either direction since my last post. I eventually decided to give my "tool" a chance to do its thing and get back on track.

Let me tell you, it is *not* easy. Quite frankly, I feel exactly as though I am on another in a long line of failed diets. Back to counting calories. You know, because that works so well! I can maintain a reasonable level of calorie intake during the week, when I am preoccupied by work (reasonable=under 1500 calories per day). The weekends are tough. My weightloss has been kinda rocky these past couple of months because I tend to gain back a great deal of what I lose during the week over the weekend!

I lack self control. I understand that about myself. Like many of us, I struggle with a mental need (or desire) to eat far past the point of what is prudent. I am human and I want to enjoy what I put in my mouth (yeah, okay, insert dirty joke here). As i have mentioned a million times, I have severe insulin resistance which makes it that much harder for me to control my appetite.

That said, I've been maintaining a weight of 167-ish. I am proud of every one of those 8 or so pounds I've struggled to lose over the past 2.5 months. I know I can do better than this, I just need to get food out of my head. I truly do not need much of it at all. I am rarely physically hungry. It's 90% in my head! As the surgeons tell us, they can only operate on our stomachs, not our brains (which is a damn shame).

So I'm about halfway to my final goal weight and less than 10 pounds away from a "normal" BMI. I do need to get my flabby butt to the gym, ASAP; I've lost over 30 pounds and still feel the same as I did when I was 200. I'm in the worst shape of my life. Living in Las Vegas has a huge downfall--you simply don't walk anywhere. When I lived in NYC, even after I bought a car, I still got around on foot and via subways due to the convenience. I can't wear any of my rings because they are all falling off my fingers, but I have flab on my inner thighs that I never had in my life. I was in better shape at 200 than I am at 167 and it's stupid. My husband now weighs 25 pounds more than me and still looks better (and I'm at least an inch taller!) than I do. Between working towards an MBA, a full-time, high stress career and trying to lose this extra weight, I'm feeling a bit taxed. I think I might shelf the graduate degree for now. I just don't have the time to devote to such a disgustingly math-y degree program at this point. Something's got to give, and it's not going to be my job (hello? I'd like to continue owning my home that I'm upside-down on) or my dietary/fitness goals. Not when I've invested this much time and money.

So to motivate myself, I've ordered a new iPod Nano. It has a built-in pedometer and is a tiny, clip on model with a touch screen. It should be arriving on Wednesday. After work, I'm joining the gym down the block (walking distance!), no more procrastinating. One thing I haven't been having an issue with is protein intake; I just need to kick my body into gear. I'm ready for it (I hope).

I'll end on that note. I expect to be back in the blogosphere once I hit 159 (aka normal BMI town).